“ When’s the baby? ”This question, the beauty Youtuber Marie Lopez, alias EnjoyPhoenix , is more than tired of hearing it. At 25, this blogger and videographer with more than 3.65 million followers indicates receiving this question for three years on social networks. In an Instagram post, she clarified the subject of this societal pressure, which weighs on her and which even comes back within her family circle. “At the very heart of my family, older generations wonder why at 25, I am still childless. I know that I am not the only one, and that many will recognize themselves in my words ”, she writes.
Eager to explain why this question is disturbing, the YouTuber has listed a few aspects to consider before asking a woman when is she going to have children:
- “ Not everyone wants to have children. It is a choice, not an obligation.
- Not everyone CAN have children . You don’t know if the person is physically able to conceive, maybe they have been trying for years without success. A person’s economic situation is also a determining factor.
- It is not a finality or a goal of life for everyone. “Marriage-house-dog-baby” a utopia for many, but ask yourself why you believe this is the key to happiness. For me, this is what society wants us to believe. But happiness does not NECESSARILY reside in this pattern.
- With networks, having a child has become a BUSINESS . The pressure on women to give birth also comes from the fact that more and more people are exploiting their pregnancies and children for buzz and partnerships, therefore, these are images that we see EVERYDAY. A child is not a fashion accessory or a money machine.
- With whom ? Do you still have to feel good in your relationship (or with yourself)? ”
The young woman thus evokes infertility, the financial situation, the question of the desire for a child, the “ideal” societal scheme, but also the darker side of the commodification of the child. Several well-known influencers indeed promote their child on their social networks for profit, which is more or less well concealed or assumed.
For her part, Mayor Lopez says she has, for now, chosen to focus on her life, and hopes that she will have children one day if she decides, and not because of societal pressure . “A woman is not a broodmare, she has the right not to want children. A woman may not have a maternal instinct, she can do whatever she wants with her body, her career, her desires, her life. A woman is no longer in her place by being a mother ”, she still lists.
Note that in 2016, it is the actress Laetitia Milot who mentioned this subject in a book entitled The baby, is it for when? , in reference to this inappropriate question that always came up during his interviews. The actress took the opportunity to shed light on endometriosis , an unrecognized gynecological disease unfortunately often synonymous with infertility .